Bryan Strawser

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Archives for January 2005

The Work Pooper

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I was having a rather shitty evening yesterday for a variety of reasons – and then I went back and read this recent post by Dooce about pooping at work:

Internet, I was a work pooper. Now that I work from home I am still a work pooper, but that doesn’t really count. I once dated a guy who refused to go poop in a public place including work, and if he had to go poop he’d take a fifteen minute break, drive home, poop, and then drive back to work. That relationship didn’t last very long for several reasons, one of them being his poop policy (if he felt that way about pooping, he’d never get used to my farting), and another reason being that he always, and I mean ALWAYS, asked if I had come yet within the first 20 seconds of initiating sex. I understand the meaning of “hurry it along,” but show me a woman who can come in less than 20 seconds and I’ll show you a liar.

If you are a woman and you can come in less than 20 seconds PLEASE SHARE WITH THE WORLD YOUR SECRET, YOU BITCH.

I always found it funny as well when I would enter the bathroom at work and someone would STOP PEEING in the middle of their pee session, as if I hadn’t ever heard the sound of pee hitting porcelain in my life and would be offended by the sound of it IN A BATHROOM. Are coworkers arrogant enough to think that we don’t know they pee and poop? JESUS TOOK SHITS, PEOPLE. And, I know this will be hard to believe, but so does Oprah.

Nothing like some poop conversation to cheer one up…

Tom Friedman: The Stakes

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Over at Castle Argghhh is a post about Tom Friedman’s December 23rd Column in the New York Times that I believe clearly lays out what the stakes are in Iraq:

There is much to dislike about this war in Iraq, but there is no denying the stakes. And that picture really framed them: this is a war between some people in the heart of the Arab-Muslim world who – for the first time ever in their region – are trying to organize an election to choose their own leaders and write their own constitution versus all the forces arrayed against them.

Do not be fooled into thinking that the Iraqi gunmen in this picture are really defending their country and have no alternative. The Sunni-Baathist minority that ruled Iraq for so many years has been invited, indeed begged, to join in this election and to share in the design and wealth of post-Saddam Iraq.

As the Johns Hopkins foreign policy expert Michael Mandelbaum so rightly pointed out to me, “These so-called insurgents in Iraq are the real fascists, the real colonialists, the real imperialists of our age.” They are a tiny minority who want to rule Iraq by force and rip off its oil wealth for themselves. It’s time we called them by their real names.

However this war started, however badly it has been managed, however much you wish we were not there, do not kid yourself that this is not what it is about: people who want to hold a free and fair election to determine their own future, opposed by a virulent nihilistic minority that wants to prevent that. That is all that the insurgents stand for.

Friedman goes on to conclude:

We may lose because our Arab allies won’t lift a finger to support an election in Iraq – either because they fear they’ll be next to face such pressures, or because the thought of democratically elected Shiites holding power in a country once led by Sunnis is anathema to them.

We may lose because most Europeans, having been made stupid by their own weakness, would rather see America fail in Iraq than lift a finger for free and fair elections there.

As is so often the case, the statesman who framed the stakes best is the British prime minister, Tony Blair. Count me a “Blair Democrat.” Mr. Blair, who was in Iraq this week, said: “Whatever people’s feelings or beliefs about the removal of Saddam Hussein and the wisdom of that, there surely is only one side to be on in what is now very clearly a battle between democracy and terror. On the one side you have people who desperately want to make the democratic process work, and want to have the same type of democratic freedoms other parts of the world enjoy, and on the other side people who are killing and intimidating and trying to destroy a better future for Iraq.”

I believe whether you supported the decision to goto war or not – if you can’t see and understand the stakes before us in Iraq then you don’t understand at all the world that we live in today.

The Navy in East Asia

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For all of the criticisms of the United States for being “stingy” – for wanting to build an empire – for spending too much on our military – for only donating $350m to relief efforts – for spending more in a day of the war on terror than we donated to the relief effort – how can you not look at these pictures of the sailors of the United States Navy rendering aid in East Asia and see through all of that rhetorical smokescreen?



Navy

Navy1

Navy2

Navy3

We’re only able to provide aid like this because we have invested in the military that we have today. Had we drawn down as far as some other countries have – we wouldn’t be able to provide this sort of aid.

Only $350m? What’s the pricetag for the carrier group and the amphibious group that are over there now?

Take a look at the faces of the these men and women. They are there to help – there’s no intent or desire for “empire” in their eyes – no matter what the Socialist Alliance or Claire Short has to say about it.

New Bedford Buries Five Fishermen

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New Bedford, Massachusetts, just twenty miles from my home, buried five of their own last week in the worst loss of a fishing vessel in nearly fifteen years:

Five fishermen lost at sea when their boat capsized in a storm were remembered as heroes Sunday in a memorial service that also touched on the question of whether fishing regulations may have unduly put them at risk.

About 300 friends, family and politicians including U.S. Sen. Edward Kennedy filled the 173-year-old Seamen’s Bethel to honor the sacrifices of men who accepted the risks of the sea to make a living and feed others.

”Five more men of courage and determination have gone from our midst and will not return to shore,” the Rev. Kenneth Garrett, the church’s chaplain, said from a wooden pulpit carved in the shape of a ship prow.

”I often wonder what is the true price of a pound of scallops,” said Christopher Gaudiello, a fisherman who was a friend of one of the victims.

The Dec. 20 loss of the boat Northern Edge was the worst loss of life aboard a single vessel at sea in New England since six crew members of the Gloucester-based Andrea Gail died in the ”Perfect Storm” in 1991.

Swells reaching 15 feet high rolled the Northern Edge onto its side, spilling the scalloper’s crew into the ocean about 45 miles southeast of Nantucket. Lost were Capt. Carlos Lopes; Ray Richards; Glen Crowley; Juan Flores; and Eric Guillen.

Senator Kennedy was also on hand and spoke of the call of the sea:

Kennedy spoke of the passion his brother, former President John F. Kennedy, felt for the sea a passion he said the crew of the Northern Edge shared.

”The call of the sea is strong and irresistible, even with the knowledge of that danger,” Kennedy said.

For whatever reason, I have spent the last few days re-reading Sebastian Junger’s incredible novel The Perfect Storm. If you’ve not read it, you should – it’s a fascinating look at the lives that modern day fisherman lead – and the incredibly dangerous world that they work in.

2005 Mobile Technology Wishlist

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At jkOnTheRun, James writes of his wishlist for Mobile Technology in 2005. My favorite wishlist item of his:

Apple iTablet.

I would love to see Apple come out with a Tablet PC based on OS X. My reasoning is somewhat devious- in addition to being curious what sort of Tablet Apple would release (and it would be innovative no doubt), it would also be the perfect vehicle to bring the Tablet PC concept to the masses. Apple knows how to market and I am confident they would show a lot of consumers how a Tablet can benefit them, something MS and the Tablet PC OEMs don’t seem to know how to do. It would create huge excitement in a genre that needs it desperately.

I can only hope this comes true!

JK, by the way, is hands down the best mobile technology weblog on the web today.

Socialist Alliance: “The US is incapable of feeling remorse, sympathy…”

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Over at the Tsunami Tragedy Blog, sponsored by the Socialist Alliance of Queensland, comes another wonderful and helpful post:

Like any bully the United States takes pleasure out of destroying other people’s things. Like any true sociopath the US is incapable of feeling remorse, sympathy, or of learning from it’s mistakes. Like any true psychopath the US cannot grieve for the people of South Asia. The United States can only see bottom lines and profit margins.

Is Coca-Cola donating free Coke to the survivors? Are Reebok and Nike donating free shoes? Is Wal-Mart pitching in? Well, no. But, the United States is forming a Relief Coalition.

This is sick.

Oh, the bully must be in charge. The sociopath must have things his way. The psychopath will crush all opposition. And if you don’t want to play with him, then he’ll take his ball and go home.

News reports state that American troops will be sent into Thailand. Oh, that’s great. Another front on the war on terror? Time to clean up against the rebel Muslims in the South of the country?

I guess it’s damned if we do – damned if we don’t. A few days ago, this blog wrote, quite strongly, that we weren’t doing enough – now they’re criticizing us for sending Marines and others over there to help. A no win situation?

Hypocritical, I call them.

Moonbat News

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I note that the domain moonbatnews.com is available.

Anyone interested in helping with a group blog to showcase nothing but their own comments, news, and photographs?

Could be alot of fun. Leave a comment if you’re interested.