Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Newer Entries »

Two Rock Hard Concrete Traffic Mounds

Saturday, June 12th, 2004

If you’re not reading Dooce, well you’re just missing all of the fun in your life:

I hopped out of bed, two rock hard concrete traffic mounds on my chest and ran to my binky-less Wonderchild, attaching her to my boob before I even had her out of the crib. She could barely keep up with the flow, my boob a gushing fire hydrant that she was trying to stop with her mouth.

And there I go again talking about my boobs. GOD! To the person who sent me an email to tell me that all I talk about anymore are my boobs, and that all this talk about my boobs is alienating my core audience, SORRY CORE AUDIENCE! Would you prefer I talk about my ass? The STORIES I could tell you about my ass.

Posted in Blogging, Humor | 1 Comment »

Legs in the Air

Saturday, February 21st, 2004

This woman and her husband have this really bad fight. He goes off to work the next day without talking to her, but she doesn’t care.

She’s busy doing her thing around the house. All of the sudden, around 1:00 in the afternoon, the doorbell rings. She goes to the door and opens it and there is a young delivery guy from the local florist shop with an enormous, beautiful bouquet of long-stemmed red roses…the expensive ones…from her husband.

She says to the delivery guy with disgust, “Oh CRAP!”

The delivery guy says, “What’s a matter lady? You don’t like roses?”

She replies, “Yeah, I like roses, but do you know what this means?”

He says, “No, Lady, what does this mean?”

She answers, “It means for the next two weeks I’ll be laying on my back with my legs in the air.”

He replies, “Geez, Lady, don’t you have a vase?”

Posted in Humor | Comments Off

Newer Entries »